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I knew of her indiscretions, she was never subtle about it. Her lovers would phone, when I was home, and she would leave to meet them. I stayed, for the sake of the children. They needed one stable parent in the home. When she died, it was a relief. I never mourned the loss, like you mourned Michael. There was no need. I had mourned the loss of my marriage years before. Her death, was the finality I sought. Her death gave me freedom. Funny, when we first met, and married, we had a satisfying sexual relationship. When she started having the affairs, I lived a life of celibacy, not wanting to be the one who stepped out on his spouse, so she could ask me for a divorce." Michael was my first lover, I was a virgin when we married. That was important to me, that I was able to give him that part of me, on our wedding night. I haven't been with another man either. I know that celibacy is not easy, the urges, the desires, don't just go away. They linger on, a sweet torture of. " She did...eventually.Our daughter came home a couple times with her boyfriend when my wife was in the bedroom with her black lover. Although it was very awkward at first, gradually it was accepted. I regularly talked to my daughter about how things were going. At one point she said, "I guess you mean with mom."I said, "Yes."She said, "I guess she's gotten used to the sex, a lot of sex. Does that bother you?" Is she enjoying it?"She thought about it. "I'm sure she wouldn't do it if she wasn't. It's kind of like a new experience. Things were different when she grew up."I said, "I would think this would bother you."She shrugged. "It was kind of strange at first, but they both want it, so why not let them enjoy it? She looked at me, "I would think that you are the one that it would bother." I think she was jealous of you, and I'm not threatened by this guy. It's like she's gone back to when she was much younger; sort of like you." So I'm setting the example now?" I guess so."She.
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